Hi bud,
Let me shoot it straight—I am BURNT toast.
Between the full time job and the revisions grind (self-inflicted by procrastination, eek) and the returned normalization of social obligations—and also, the existential subway thoughts where you sit and stare at strangers and realize how everyday we all change a little bit, and society as a crowd changes a bit to reflect the fashion choices or social permissions we grant ourselves, and this metal transportation car has probably seen it all for years but will too be replaced someday, & also my friend Vas told me about the specific suffering that comes with losing something that was presumed permanent (i.e. a job, a romantic relationship, a death), and nothing is PERMANENT, so everything must be changing even the things that we rely on and can we really trust anything to be stable?!—my brain is pulled taffy.
I did sleep in today though, and that helped.
Anyway, with all of this going on, sometimes in the last six months I have read or watched something that gutted me with excitement or beauty. I would rather take the time to point to those things today, like a little PERF playlist of books and TV shows.
tv
FEEL GOOD on Netflix: a stand-up comedian battles her narcotics addiction and falls into another addiction — her partner who is coming to terms with being in her first same-sex relationship. Sure, a little dark, but dry & sharp & still makes you laugh with lots of little moments of joy + season two just came out so you don’t have to wait on the cliffhanger
MASTER OF NONE on Netflix: five episodes in the most beautiful cabin you’ve ever seen in your life. This is season 3 & it departs from the previous two seasons (focusing on Aziz Ansari’s character Dev) to pivot to his best friend Denise, now a famous married author. Five beautiful chapters, each a full story into itself, and a look into all the facets of love, good and bad. Watch the first episode, and if you’re not hooked by the light laundry dance and heavy awkward of watching another couple duke it out about hair plugs, then I may not be able to help you too much.
SHRILL on Hulu: I binged almost two seasons in a bathtub because I was home alone the other weekend and this screamed PARTY! If you think that this whole thing—a woman redesigning the rules she lived by to regain control over her relationships & self-esteem—isn’t slightly about perfectionism, then let’s chat. Also, let’s chat about the series finale, b/c I’m still thinking about it, but maybe not in a good way? You’ll have to watch & see ha ha.
Bo Burnham’s INSIDE on Netflix: I know everyone is talking about this, but all I have to add to the cultural conversation is…literally, how did he? (Could also make the case that Bo has inky fingers, perhaps in another newsletter.)
GLOW UP on Netflix: a makeup artist reality competition. Lovely. Watch if you love how the judges seem like they could either destroy or swoon over each contestant with a single “DING DONG” (the ultimate praise)
books!!
MEMORIAL, by Bryan Washington: If you want that aforementioned subway existentialism, this delivers it in a less heavy-handed way. A couple, two men in Houston, are at a crossroads in their relationship and need to piece together their emotions for each other as one of them travels to Japan to visit his dying father and leaves his mom to live with his boyfriend in their apartment. I had never read a love story that seemed to fit today so well.
SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU IN ALL YOUR DAMAGED GLORY: STORIES, by Raphael Bob-Waksberg: If you ever read BJ Novak’s collection ONE MORE THING (which I also recommend), you will love this. A lot of short stories, playing with format (I loved “a list of lies we told each other” which is literally a bullet point list of statements that tells its own story). It jumps from experimental to traditional to dog’s perspectives to Craigslist missed connections. All a little surreal, as to be expected from the Bojack Horseman creator.
HOW TO DO NOTHING: RESISTING THE ATTENTION ECONOMY, by Jenny Odell: I have definitely talked about this book before, but never has “nothing” been such a revolutionary call to action. Though I’m on board with doing the whole abandon-everything-and-go-to-nature (though apparently I am spending more time on Netflix than I realize??), Odell points out how we can connect with everything—trees, birds, humans—in our local communities & reclaim our attention spans from Instagram/Facebook/Twitter. Attention is the last frontier. Goodness, I loved this book. I’m gonna let it sit in my heart for a while and hope it brings some change.
THE POWER OF RITUAL: TURNING EVERYDAY ACTIVITIES INTO SOULFUL PRACTICES, by Casper ter Kuile. I just started this one yesterday on audiobook, and the intersection with perfectionism feels spooky! Essentially, we had religious communities to give us meaning and morality and community, but now that our world is secular, what do we do with these spiritual questions and urges? Again, I’m freshly into this (& I feel like a year late to the party since this was probably THE lockdown lifeline), but I love the idea of incorporating focus & attention into everyday routines to make them something more. (Though the perfectionist in me is like “let’s life hack brushing your teeth and make it spiritual!! or going on those runs you say you’re gonna do! or WRITING!!! every resolution you ever had can be so much MORE so let’s optimize it & make it spiritual!!” so I think I need that voice to quiet down before I keep reading lmao)
I think I’m starting to repeat myself (have you all ever heard me talk about Trick Mirror? only like every newsletter? cool cool cool). But these are cool things. I’m also dragging my friends to see the re-opening of Jacqueline Novak’s GET ON YOUR KNEES if you’re in NYC & want to watch an 80-minute poem about fellatio (!!).
But it turns out, between the job and the existential moments and book revisions, I don’t have as much time to consume as I thought! Suggestions & comments welcome on what you’re reading & loving.
Have a lovely summery Wednesday — xo.
Chlo
Side note: Hacks is entertaining, In Session is well written, curious to get your take on This Naked Mind regarding alcohol as toxin. xo